A few years ago I used to go to the new Hot yoga studio in our small town. Back then it was all the rage, and celebrities swore by it. A few friends and I would go regularly, and push through the hot and humid classes and complete our 90 minute challenge.

It was difficult. It took me about two months to complete the hour and a half intense class fully. But I never gave up and improved significantly over time. I even became one of the top guys in the class.

I noticed something that really bothered me though. Despite taking my practice seriously, and being prepared, every two or three weeks I would have a bad class. The heat would get me, and I would struggle the whole class. It was like going through movements in slow motion. I would struggle, and the whole thing, instead of being a joy, would become an ordeal, a never ending struggle for 90 minutes.

I was about to give up the practice altogether, when I noticed something very interesting: The day after I had a bad class, I would have the most amazing class I ever had. I mean best class and best performance since the beginning. How was that even possible?

Well, it turns out that those bad days, when I experienced “resistance” were as much part of the practice and advancement as the “good days”. I found out later that it was both part of expansion into new territory, as well as memory build up at the current level.

My Teacher had a saying he often retorted to: “I enjoy both sweet candy and hot pepper. I have come to enjoy both.”

That lifted a huge weight off me. I would just relax on those days, and simply do my best. If I couldn’t finish a posture, I would simply rest on my mat, with a smile. But not longer than I needed. Eventually I started enjoying the so-called bad days. Knowing fully, and accepting them as part of continuous improvement and Mastery.

No matter what path we have stepped on on this planet, or how marvelous and awe inspiring our start with fanfare and flowers, eventually we will come to what seems to be an insurmountable wall in our path. This is called resistance. Many insist on facing it head on like an enemy, giving it all with aggression. Soon, despite modest progress those likely will fall to the wayside, and silently give up.

Life is not a war, but rather an intricate and beautiful dance. In that dance, there are no enemies. Whatever you see is part of yourself. If we see it through this lens, there will be no struggles and no enemies. Just part of ourselves in an ever expanding union with the universe, the creator.

This is an exceptionally important point. Without it, we are induced to give up early, blaming either ourselves or our task at hand. It may be dieting, getting fit, making friends, or reaching enlightenment.

Bad days are there to bring us closer to what we want. Not to chase us away. It is the eternal dance of seduction.

The most common thing in this situation is for us to exert aggression, like a child not getting what it wants may start crying and stomping its feet in apparent outbursts. However this does not work. Aggression gives back aggression. It makes things seem even worse than they actually are.

And neither does giving up. This is the path of the perpetual seeker, going from one teacher, one tradition to another, spending years accomplishing nothing except a platitude of quotes and seemingly never ending teaching stories.

We have to love what we do. We have to love it unconditionally, no matter what our path or practice in life may be. “Love casts out fear. He who fears has not been perfected in Love”.

When we love our practice unconditionally, it will not matter how little or a lot we get in return. It will be the same to us. Our work becomes a labour of love, we do it for the joy of doing it, the delight of practice is its own reward.

Then, somehow the difficulties melt away in time. Good days will come and go, but our practice will stay with us forever, nurturing us.

The secret is relaxing into our practice. And having faith in the process.

Resistance and seeming setbacks are part of the path and the process. When we are dieting it is normal to fall off the diet and indulge in unhealthy foods sometimes. It teaches us how to improve. By getting back on, our body learns to be resilient and stronger every time.

So, forgetting a new learned skill is actually part of the learning process, and as we get over that threshold, our learning process improves and keeps improving. It would be foolish to think that everytime we forget a new thing it is a failure on our part. Far from it.

The important point is to remember that everytime we advance, a phenomenon called Oblivion occurs. We lose our connection with practice. Like forgetting a word or phrase in a new language. This is simply part of the process. It is something to be cherished, provided we continue with the practice.

Fractionation

There is a very powerful concept in hypnosis in which the person in trance is taken out of deep trance briefly in order to be put back deeper into trance. This has the effect of the new state of trance to be deeper and better than the previous state of trance. It seems very counter productive, yet the results have been well documented. 

This process exists in every aspect of life. Imagine you are on a date and in deep rapport and connecting on a deep level. Then the waiter stops by to chat and ask questions, and you get involved talking with the waiter. You would think that it would diminish the rapport and deep connection. However, after he leaves and you get back in conversion, the feeling of intimacy goes far deeper than would have without that apparent interruption.

So it is with our practice. There may be discontinuations and interruptions in our meditation practice, from resistance or everyday life. However, once we get back to the practice we often discover that those interruptions have actually sustained and improved our practice. This was also the case in my yoga practice years ago.

So, to reiterate, this kind of resistance and “bad days” are part of the process. It is part of meditation, part of our growth as human beings on this planet.

Waves

Zen calls this phenomenon Waves. As referred to the meditation practice,  Suzuki Roshi explains:

“If something comes into your mind, let it come in, and let it go out. It will not stay long. When you try to stop your thinking, it means you are bothered by it.  Do not be bothered by anything…it is only the waves of your mind, and if you are not bothered by the waves, gradually they will become calmer and calmer.”1

“Actually water always has waves. Waves are the practice of water. To speak of waves apart from water or water apart from waves is a delusion. Water and waves are one…A mind with waves in it is not a disturbed mind, but actually an amplified mind”

What resistance have you overcome in your practice?

1 Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Suzuki Roshi, Pg 32-35