A few years ago, when I moved to Vancouver BC, I had an urge to improve my dating life. Every day I saw women who showed an interest in me, but for the love of God, I did not know how to talk with them or do things in a romantic way.

Then I started learning about social dynamics and dating. And I put a lot of work into it as well. Things seemed to progress quickly, and I had many wonderful, fulfilling experiences.

However, after a few weeks and months, it seemed that I had reached a plateau. I would meet and start a conversation with a wonderful young lady, get her number, only for things to fiddle out after a few texts. This was a very difficult experience, as it would take a lot of time and effort to meet someone I had chemistry with.

I finally decided to talk to a dating coach and to see what I was doing wrong. On that day, I met a beautiful Brazilian woman who was a physiotherapist. We locked eyes and I made my approach. We had a wonderful conversation for maybe 10 minutes, talking about Vancouver, Brazil, and the knee high leather boots that made me realize that she was from Brazil. It went very well, and I took her number, agreeing to meet later in the week for a drink.

I was very proud of myself, and as I was walking back towards the coach, I said “So, what do you think?”. He looked at me rather seriously and said something I will never forget: “You know you’re a handsome guy, right?  He said, staring at me. I was perplexed.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You’re a good looking guy, you know that, right?”

So? I finally muttered.

“Well, you keep talking and yakking away like she’s going to turn around and walk away any minute”. I swallowed my pride and asked: “Well, what would you do if you were me?” I asked sheepishly.

“Just shut up and let her talk. Let her invest in you, let her chase you a bit. She’s completely hooked on you. She’s not gonna go anywhere. I guarantee you that.”

AAAAAhhhhh! Interesting. Now it all made sense. I was chasing, instead of relaxing into my masculine self and letting her carry the burden of the conversation, allowing her to get to know me and ask questions. It is easy to do so if you haven’t dated beautiful women. 

So it is in our spiritual life. We chase God, Enlightenment, a spiritual journey. We wonder at night what we could do better, are we on our way? Will enlightenment come soon enough? Am I living up to my fullest potential as a human being?

We forget in the process, that if God is within us and that if we already have Christhood, Buddhahood within us, then THERE IS NOTHING TO CHASE. 

There really is nothing to chase. God, enlightenment already exists within us. We just have to relax and let it come forth. IT IS OFTEN OUR OWN IMPATIENCE AND HASTE, OUR OWN WANTING TO EXPERIENCE INSTANT GRATIFICATION ON OUR PATH THAT IS HOLDING US BACK.

Last year I felt that I wasn’t going anywhere in life. I wanted to change, and to have an abundant life. So I sent forth to change as a human being. I decided to ask for guidance. I would meditate and pray twice a day, at the same time and for the same duration. I started doing this faithfully. It was difficult to meditate at the beginning, as I had not done it in a while. However, as days and weeks passed, my meditation and prayer sessions became better and better, and more joyful.

Eventually, I would have short experiences, no matter how fleeting, of “COMMUNION”, when you make contact or have acknowledgement of your higher self, God within, the Great Spirit within you. It felt great, soothing, and uplifting. Still I carried on with my question: How can I overcome this life? Once and for all? Please tell me how to do it!

As weeks and months passed, my meditation sessions would increase in duration, length and quality. I even kept it up while spending a week in Mexico..

Then, one day while meditating, and asking the question at the end of my session and waiting patiently for an answer, I forgot what I wanted. I couldn’t ask for anything. This meditation, this communion, this utter feeling of upliftment and joy, is all that I wanted and more. I felt strongly and definitely that I had all that I wanted. I had reached contentment. So I started laughing and said : “Thank you Lord for this fine day.” Amin.

I realized that what I wanted was in the way of what I was as a human being, and all the glory that it brings. I was like, as my Master would say, a crying baby wanting the breast of its mother, too hungry and irritated. When all I wanted, joy, heaven, fulfillment, was already within. All I had to do was to “Be still and know”.

You would thought that I had already learned my lesson from a few years earlier. But this is called being a Human Being. We are fallible. As the Poet Rumi says:  “It is not always a blind man that falls into a pit. Sometimes it is a wiseman. We fall, and falling, we are given wings”